


It's hard, being an Orphaner and killing your friends' lusii.

by iwantcandy2



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Backstory, F/M, First Meetings, Gen, Orphaners, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pre-Sburb/Sgrub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2014-01-07
Packaged: 2018-01-07 20:45:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1124204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwantcandy2/pseuds/iwantcandy2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's hard and no one understands.</p>
<p>Just a little ficlet about the first time Eridan met Kanaya. Some pale/red leanings, but nothing overt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's hard, being an Orphaner and killing your friends' lusii.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [signelchan (tumblr)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=signelchan+%28tumblr%29).



> This was my gift for the secret santa gift exchange on tumblr. Merry (belated) Christmas signelchan!
> 
> Also, since the trolls are younger here, I felt justified in making them a little more melodramatic and immature. Just FYI.

Eridan was four sweeps old the first time he went hunting inland. It was ‘a major fuckin’ inconvenience, and pretty damn unnecessary, too,’ but he got tired of Feferi crying every time he accidentally orphaned someone she knew. He was just trying to do his job, get some grub for the ungodly Gl’bgolyb. Beggars couldn’t be choosers, especially when that monster wanted a half ton of fresh meat every day and suddenly whales were off the menu.

But he was her moirail, so if she wanted him to walk until his feet bled and spend his valuable time punching holes through land lusii, that was what he would do. 

On land, the wind made everything seem ten degrees colder. Sure, the air was warmer than the water, but water didn’t punch at you with icy daggers, trying to drag your heat away by the nails. He pulled his scarf tighter around his neck, wishing he had listened to Fef’s advice and gotten something functional. This thin silk affair was a lovely shade of violet, but it was about as warm as tissue paper. Whatever, at least he looked stunning as fuck. It was important to always be dressed to kill, especially when you were planning on doing exactly that.

So far tonight he had succeeded in: killing some greenblooded dog lusii, stubbing his toe, getting yelled at and chased by some older trolls twice his size when he looked at them the wrong way, ripped a tear in his expensive cape, and had to commandeer a lunch from some brownbloods.

And now it was almost daybreak. He had to get indoors. Which wasn’t that hard, really. All he had to do was find a hive and inform the inhabitants that they would be hosting royalty for the night, those lucky bastards.

At least, that was what he would be doing if he hadn’t stumbled across the tracks of something incredibly large. Instead of paw prints, there were huge ruts gouged into the ground. They wavered too much to be anything mechanical, though.

_It could almost be a Mother Grub,_ Eridan thought, _except we’re about half a continent away from the breeding fields._

Whatever it was, it was enormous. Not as big as a fuckin’ whale, but at least he would have something to show for this waste of a night.

Pulling his cape collar high to shield him from the oncoming sun, he set off at a brisk pace. He assumed that whatever this creature was, it was too large to have gone far. It would probably be grazing in a nearby field. That’s what land creatures did, right? 

The sun was peeking above the edge of the horizon, an oncoming maelstrom of burning and fire. Now it was too late to even find shelter. He’d have to duck into a cave or something. Wonderful.

He was split between calling it quits and a fuckin’ waste, and at least trying to see it through to the end. Unfortunately, the decision was made for him when his foot snagged in a pothole. He tumbled face-first into an ungraceful heap. Several colorful profanities later, he was pulling himself up, trying to cover himself with his cape. Even this early in the morning, the sun still made his skin bristle on contact. 

Trying to rise with as much dignity as he could muster, Eridan fell back to the ground when he tried to put weight on his foot.

“Fan fuckin’ tastic,” he snarled, again trying to stand. Nope. His ankle blared with pain like a live firecracker. “Now I suppose I’ll have to fuckin’ hop to shelter.”

“Do you need some assistance?” a voice asked behind him.

Eridan whirled with the intention of leveling his gun coolly at the interloper, but his ankle gave out and he landed on his ass instead. Whoever the troll was, they had the good sense not to laugh at him. Instead, a slim hand was thrust into his view.

“Can I help you up?”

He looked up into the face of a thin, distinguished girl. Her skin was so pale it practically glowed in the early morning light, and she was wearing some sort of silky dress that made the light shine off of her in a way that was downright painful to the eyes.

“I can stand by myself, thank you very much,” he replied. And he could stand. He just had to do it on one leg. “Do you live around here?”

He eyed the girl up and down. She was wearing a scarlet vest that covered her sign, so he couldn’t tell what caste she was. Didn’t matter. She was a landdweller, so it stood to reason that her hive would be on land. Close.

“Not exactly. I come out here occasionally to gather supplies. I'm staying in a nearby cave system. Would you like me to lead you to them?” 

“Depends. Exactly how awful are these caves?” Eridan asked, sniffing in disgust.

“Likely less awful than burning alive,” she replied, nodding towards the sun.

She had a point. And really, Eridan was too exhausted to be picky, but he could at least act dignified.

“Fine. Lead the way.”

“I’m Kanaya,” the girl said, giving him a delicate little curtsy. He was tempted to tell her he didn’t care, but something about the way she held herself made him think twice. 

“Eridan Ampora,” he grunted. “Now can we get out of the sun? I kinda like my skin.”

“Very well.”

She led him along, walking with the ease and confidence of someone who knew where she was going (or at least someone who didn't have to hop along awkwardly on one foot). Eridan felt the change as soon as they entered the cool shadow of the cave. It felt like someone had removed a boiling pan from the back of his neck. 

“Finally,” he grumbled. “I don’t suppose you have a recuperacoon stashed in here, do you?”

“I have sopor pills, if you would like to take one.”

“Pass,” Eridan growled, curling his lips. 

“Well, that makes two of us. I don’t care for the taste, either.”

As his eyes readjusted, Eridan could make out the slim furnishings of the cave. There was a chair, a table, and a thermal hull. That…was about it.

“The fuck kind of hive is this?” he asked.

“It’s not my permanent hive. Like I said, I just come out here occasionally, as a vacation of sorts.”

She set down the satchel she had been carrying. Eridan couldn’t help but notice that it was three shades of pink with a blue ribbon hanging off it. It was strange for a troll to have clothing items not in their blood color. Not illegal, exactly, just odd. 

“Exactly what kind of vacation? Not exactly a whole lot of sightseeing out here.”

She smiled at him in a way that suggested she didn’t think he was funny or charming.

“I could ask you the same thing,” she replied, opening the thermal hull and pulling out a chilled water flask. “You’re a long ways inland for a fish.”

Eridan felt tempted to tell her to watch her mouth, but thought better of it. Ten minutes in the sun and he’d be indistinguishable from a five-star fillet. Besides, she was pulling some medical supplies from her sylladex. He could wait until after medical treatment to be rude.

“I happen to be huntin’ for the royal heiress, you know,” he replied puffing out his chest. “I have the solemn and time-honored tradition of feedin’ her fuckin’ terror of a lusus.”

“Really?” Kanaya replied, quirking one eyebrow. She pressed the iced bottle to his ankle with precise hands. “That sounds like quite the chore. And what exactly were you hunting?”

“Well, lusii, of course.”

The troll had no witty response to this. Instead, her eyes widened, and she had to make an effort not to drop her jaw in shock.

“So…so other trolls…you hunt their lusii?”

“They don’t call it orphaning for nothing.”

She gave a little murmur, possibly of approval and possibly of disgust, and hurriedly wrapped his wound in gauze. Then she turned away to tidy things that weren’t really there. Eridan made a show of pulling out his rifle and polishing it. Some landtrolls got belligerent when he told them he was in charge of making sure their brains didn’t melt out their ears. Ingrates. 

“You didn’t…you haven’t caught any lusii today, have you?” she asked, still not looking over her shoulder.

“I wish. Just some mutts. I suppose it’s my own fuckin’ fault for comin’ out to the middle of nowhere. Probably the only lusii around here for miles is…is yours.”

Suddenly her shock made sense.

“Look, I haven’t shot anythin' around here,” Eridan reassured. “So I’m sure wherever your lusus is, it’s fine. Even if it is the middle of the day…”

“Oh, I’m not worried about that. She’s a mother grub. She loves the sun.”

Well, that explained what a mother grub was doing out here. Sort of.

“I suppose you’ll be hunting in the morning again?” Kanaya asked, her lips a thin line. They were green. Green. It must have been some sort of mutation.

“Probably,” Eridan agreed, expecting a fight. None came. The girl just set her shoulders square, turned around, and waltzed out the cave door. _Into the sunlight._

“Hey, wait!” Eridan called, jumping from his seat and sending his rifle clattering to the ground. “Are you fucking crazy?”

Apparently she was. Eridan felt a brief twinge of remorse, but it was broad daylight out there. He wasn’t about to toast his buns for some crazy bitch. Plus, well, throbbing ankle.

With a sigh, he sank back to the cavefloor. He had approximately seven more hours to squat in this hovel before it would be dark enough for him to leave the cave, kill that lusii, and call in a drone to cart it back to sea. He could try getting sleep, but…well, bloodshot eyes were easier to deal with then daymares.

To prevent himself from dropping into a coma out of sheer boredom, he poked around the thrown-together abode. Really, there wasn’t a lot to poke at. The thermal hull had some greyish landdweller rations, and it was hooked up to the tiniest cube generator Eridan had ever seen. The table looked like something she had dragged out of a garbage heap. The bag was interesting, though. After facing a moment’s dilemma about whether he should look through it or not, Eridan decided that since she was _probably_ dead, she _probably_ wouldn’t mind. 

Sliding back the woven cover (nice fuckin’ detailing on this thing), he found…flowers. Not exactly what he expected. There were several bundles of flowers in different shades of blue, grouped together according to hue and tied off with coarse twine.

“Could put these in a fuckin’ vase, instead of leavin’ em out to rot,” he criticized. 

“They aren’t exactly a display piece.”

Much to his utter embarrassment, Eridan let out a yelp of surprise and dropped the bag on the ground. Flowers tumbled out, their petals dancing in the air like drunken motes of dust. Whipping around, he saw the troll girl standing behind him, very much alive. In fact, she wasn’t even sunburnt. She looked as put-together and prim as ever, save for the jade tear-tracks on her face.

“Yes, um, sorry, didn’t think you were…comin’ back,” Eridan mumbled, hurriedly sweeping the flowers back into the bag and placing it on the table.

“I have heliopigmatism,” she explained. “The sun doesn’t burn my skin.”

She explained this matter-of-factly, but her eyes were cold and grim. She stared at Eridan with a sort of disdainful resignation that made him feel like someone had slipped hot coals down his pants.

“Interestin’,” he grunted, trying not to look intimidated. He kicked himself for leaving his rifle against the other wall. If she attacked him…well, she was only a landdweller. He could probably beat her. But it would be better if it didn’t come to that.

_Think, Eridan,_ he prodded himself. _You can keep someone from trying to kill you for five minutes, can’t you? Just smooth talk her or something._

“That’s…uh…nice bag,” Eridan said, gesturing vaguely towards the table.

“I made it myself,” the girl replied, her voice small and distant. 

“Really? Well, fuckin’ impeccable handiwork, if I do say so myself,” he chuckled.

Her response to the compliment was a dead stare. Right. Still not over the potentially dead lusus. 

“So you make things?”

She had enough sass left to give him half an eyeroll that screamed _well duh._

“So, uh, what are the flowers for?”

“Die.”

“What?” Eridan squeaked, edging backwards a little.

“Dye,” she repeated, and this time Eridan understood it was a description, not an order.

“Well, that’s cool.”

They stared each other down for a long time. Eridan felt like he was standing on the sharp edge or a sword, and the slightest move would rob him of his favorite phalanges. For her part, the girl looked at him as if he was a distasteful meal she wasn’t sure she wanted to force down or throw out. Eventually, though, her cold fire petered out. With a resigned sigh, she pulled a kettle and cooking brick out of her sylladex.

“Would you like some tea?” she asked. 

For a second, all Eridan could do was open and close his mouth like he was still underwater. He managed to splutter out a yes, but instantly regretted it. Most likely the girl would just try and poison him. Paranoid, he sat beside her so he could watch what she put in his drink. However, nothing looked out of place. She poured two cups from the same kettle, and drank out of her own straight away. Eridan took his with clammy hands, holding it but not ready to take a sip. 

For a few minutes, he just sat there, watching the girl sipping her tea. She still had green smudges on her face, but she look as composed and strong as stone. Like she had already done her grieving for her soon-to-be-dead lusus and moved on. But Eridan had seen what happened to people with their lusus taken. It wasn’t something you could get over with one day of crying. 

“I-” Eridan started, then stopped. He looked into the amber surface of the tea, saw his own reflection peering back. “I don’t want to kill your lusus, you know. But if it’s not you, it’ll just be someone else. And- and it has to be you. I’m runnin’ out of time.”

“What happens? If you fail provide enough raw sacrifice for the empress?” she asked, eyelashes lowered and lip curled just enough to reveal the foremost fang.

“Everyone dies. An’ no, I am not bein’ a drama queen. I mean literally. Psychic screams, wipe out your brain cells. Everyone on the planet dies, possibly the whole species if it goes long enough.”

“Oh.” 

Her gaze softened, and she looked down into her cup.

“Yeah, so, no choice really. My hands are tied,” he defended, following it up with a nervous laugh.

“So what, you’re just the innocent victim?” she asked, her voice chill. “Poor you, no say in the matter, you can’t be held accountable?”

“Well what the fuck am I supposed to do?” he asked, flaring his fins.

“You could do something besides just give up!”

Her cup fell to the floor, smashing against the stone with a tinkling splash. 

“I’m not!” he roared, standing up to meet her. Fuckin’ females and their early growth spurt. She had no right to be taller than him.

“Yes you are! You could hunt lusii with _out_ charges, or hunt different creatures entirely!”

“It’s not that easy, you demented dirt-humper!” he retorted. “I don’t have time to be picky. I spend all this time searching, when I find something I have to take it.”

“Haven’t you ever heard the phrase ‘there are other fish in the sea?’ Why don’t you go hunt one of _them?_ ”

“My moirail doesn’t want me to,” he responded. “And she’s the fuckin’ empress-apparent, so her opinion kind of matters.”

“If it’s that important to her, why doesn’t she do the hunting herself?” Kanaya asks.

“It- it’s not like that. Fef…she ain’t a hunter. And I- look, it’s not that big a deal,” he muttered. “She doesn’t want me hunting fish, so I don’t.”

Placing her hands on her hips, Kanaya bit her bottom lip and gave him a condescending look.

“It’s true,” Eridan defended. “I’m supposed to look out for her. What should I do?”

“You could try saying no.”

Eridan snorted. Obviously this broad had no idea what she was talking about. Like she had any right to be giving relationship advice to the happiest pale couple under the sea. Yup. Smooth waters and fluffy sea beds.

“I’m serious,” Kanaya continued. “It’s all a bit ridiculous when you think about it. Forcing you to spend all your time doing chores. Moirails are supposed to give and take. It sounds like you’re just…sucking up.”

“What the…oh that is _preposterous_. You’ve really overstepped your bounds now,” Eridan replied. “I- I’m gonna roast your fuckin’ lusus!”

“Do it,” she screeched back. “Maybe then your moirail will finally like you!”

Eridan would have counter-argued with a logical punch to her face, but she burst into tears and ran from the cave. 

“Good fuckin’ riddance!” Eridan called after. For good measure, he kicked her teapot, sending it into a shattered pile against the wall. And then pushing over the thermal hull. And then flipping the table. He was about to stomp on the bag, but decided against it. It was a fuckin’ fine bag after all. And…well, perhaps killing her lusus was punishment enough. No need to take her flower dyes, too.

He spent the rest of the day limping around the cave, and practically leapt out of it come dusk. He was all too ready to hunt down that stupid lusus. A mother grub was almost enough to keep Gl’bgolyb fed for one day. And then he could go back to hunting something else. And the cycle could repeat _ad nasuem_ until he burned out.

And he suddenly realized that Kanaya was right. He couldn’t go on like this. Not forever.

\---

 

Fef wasn’t as mad as he expected her to be. Well, Fef rarely got mad, really, so much as she got blubbery and weepy and it just about broke his heart. But he explained how fuckin’ ludicrous it was to go hunting land creatures when the creatures of the sea were bigger and waaaaaay more accessible. And she was mad, and they didn’t talk for a couple of days, and he felt terrible, but eventually things blew over. Back to the same old same old, nothing to see here, move along.

Oh, except for one thing. A package arrived at his hive, addressed to a “Mr. Eridan Ampora/ AKA the man with the useless silk scarf.” Inside was a thick wool scarf in two beautiful shades of blue. It wasn’t exactly his blood color, but, well, he could work it. Inside was the simple note “I Suppose I Owe You For Not Brutally Murdering My Guardian. Let Me Know If This Scarf Is To Your Liking. Sincerely, grimAuxiliatrix.”

And wouldn’t you know it, the scarf was.

**Author's Note:**

> PS: no Feferi hate intended. I don't think she's some selfish evil mastermind that abuses Eridan. She's just a princess with no idea how the world works, and that's okay, because most people don't until they grow up.


End file.
